abetterme

i didnt get everything done that i wanted to yesterday. but i had a good night, and this morning my legs are killing me. all just from picking up the house and painting my hallway. my hallway consists of a flight of stairs then a small hallway at the top plus high high ceilings! so i had to stretch and reach all those hard to get spots plus i kept the paint at the bottom of the stairs so i had to keep going up and down. and this morning i feel great to. i just feel like i have a lot more energy then what im use to, i hope this carries into work, work has been very stressful lately and im hoping to kick it in the butt today, and see how many side projects i can accomplish i dont want to be lazy, then i would feel like all my hard work was nothing if i dont keep up with it. maybe tonight when i get home some sit ups and some weights for my arms? i can feel myself slowly becoming motivated to do more, i am sooo scared of falling back to my old ways though. i cant let myself fall into that hole in my life again. even if its just a little everyday i know it needs to be something and then little by little i will be gaining more and more everyday. well i will just have to see how work goes, but i know i need to challenge myself while im there, otherwise i will spend the next 8 hours sitting and being lazy….

I have been up since 9:00, my sister stayed the night so i had to wait for her to get ready and drop her off at my dads so she could go to work, i visted with my dad for awhile, stopped off at the store and bought some paint rollers. ive been home since 10:30, its going on an hour now of me doing nothing!! i just dont understand why im like this. my living room..trashed..kitchen..messy..bathroom..messy..bedroom..disater…computer room..pretty clean:) I got paint rollers to paint my hallway today, thanksgiving dinners at my house and my house isnt ready. I have so much to do yet im not doing it, i know once im done writing this blog im going to have to drag myself off the couch and start but where is my motavation? i promised myself i would walk my boys today (my 2 dogs) but i know the house needs to come first. Im 22 years old and im just like uhh.. ill get to it someday i should have alot more energy then this. I feel like laziness is a drug and overcoming it is like rehab. not that i know what rehab is like but thats how i feel. i know ive needed to lose weight for a long time now, when i was in high school i weighed 140, 5 years later and im up to 215! I have an older sister that is heavy, not to mention a bitch, and im sorry if this sounds cruel but i was like she wants to be a bitch to me wait until thanksgiving when im 20lbs lighter and shes not but that motivation didnt last long:( (my sister thinks shes better then everyone btw) I need it back. I know once i start seeing results i will be on track and like hell yea. but until that point i need to change my attitude towards life. I think i need to start taking vitamins too? alot of people have brought this up to me cause i never have taken daily vitamins before. But i guess i need to start somewhere. anyone who reads this blog do me a favor. i will be signing back on tonight and here is a list of everything that should be accomplished before then:

hallway-painted, living room-spotless, all laundry-washed folded sorted,  kitchen and bathroom- scrubbed from top to bottom, and taking my boys for their walk. if i dont do everything on this list today im going to be very disappointed in myself

achieving all this has to be better then just sitting on my ass all day right? even if it is just cleaning my house?

My first blog, well, first i need to start by saying i need a plan of action. i mean its easy i know my goal i know what i want, i need to know where to start? I know for one thing basic is better for me, when i see results im motivated to do more. watching what i eat and portion size but not an all out diet sounds more like me. i dont have a gym membership or at home gym supplies. maybe at home dvds? light weight lifting, walks, pull ups and crunches? tomorrow is my day off so i figured a perfect day to start right? i know my problem areas are back stomach thighs and upper arms? seems like a lot, it is  i have A LOT to do. I think im going to try and post daily blogs also to stay on top of things! any one have any good advice feel free:)